Bernice Three Column

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Silly Saturday for April 21, 2012

Hot Dog! It's Saturday!
  
The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he’s 97 years old and we have no idea where the heck he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I’m doing...

I joined a health club last year, spent about 250 bucks.
Haven’t lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there!

Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’,
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say,
‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she.’

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few....
I noticed two large women by the bar.
They both had strong accents so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?”
One of them chirped: “It’s WALES you idiot!”
So, I immediately apologized and said, “Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?”
That’s the last thing I remember...




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