Bernice Three Column

Friday, April 13, 2012

Silly Saturday for April 14, 2012

Let the Silliness Begin!

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl said, “But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale.”

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. “It is physically impossible!” she said.

Undaunted, the little girl said, “Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”

To this, the teacher said, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then YOU ask him!”

Several days ago a man left a business meeting. He desperately gave himself a pat down as he was looking for his keys. They were not in his pockets.

A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly he realized that he must have left them in the car. Frantically, he headed for the parking lot. His theory was that the ignition is the best place not to lose them. As he burst back out through the doors, he came to a terrifying conclusion. The parking lot was empty.

He immediately called the police. He gave them his location, confessed that he had left his keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then he made the most difficult call of all; he called his wife...”Honey,” he stammered. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”

There was a period of silence. He thought the call had been dropped, but then he heard her voice. “Idiot”, she barked, “I dropped you off!”

Now it was his time to be silent.  Embarrassed, he said, “Well, come and get me."

She retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car.”


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