Bernice Three Column

Friday, May 11, 2012

Silly Saturday for May 12, 2012

Hooray! It's Saturday!

The New Wal-Mart Greeter

Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older Person Friendly” policies.

One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.

“Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome.”

“Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it.”

“Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear”.

“Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder”.

Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, “I know you’re retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning late so often?”

The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, “They usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir”?

Things on My To Do List:

Wear shirt that says "Life." Hand out lemons on street corner.

Hire two private investigators.  Get them to follow each other.

Get into a crowded elavator and say, "I bet your're all wondering why I gathered you here," with a straight face.

Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar.  Eat in public.

Become a teacher.  Make a test where every answer is "C." Enjoy the show.

Run into a store, ask what year it is.  When someone answers, yell "It worked!" and run out cheering.

Buy a horses, name it "Oscar Takes the Lead," enter it in horse races.

Change name to Simon.  Speak in third person.

Become a doctor.  Change last mane to Acula.

Buy a parrot.  Teach the parrot to say, "Help! I've been turned into a parrot."

Follow joggers around in a car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.

I am such a Gummi Bear fan.
Life of the Party

Have a great weekend!

Do you have a family friendly blog? Please comment, and leave a link to your blog. I would love to come on over to visit.

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