Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant’s kitchen.
One day, Abraham was surprised to receive an invoice from the restaurant for ‘enjoyment of food’. So he went to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought anything from them.
The manager said, “You’re enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it.”
Abraham refused to pay and the restaurant sued him.
At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case.
The manager said, “Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it.”
The judge turns to Abraham and said, “What do you have to say to that?”
Abraham didn’t say anything but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.
The judge asked him, “What is the meaning of that?”
Abraham replied, “I’m paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money.”
Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delievered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Remember that Laughter is life's best medicine.
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