Bernice Three Column

Friday, February 15, 2013

Silly Saturday - The Shakespearean Insult Kit - February 16, 2013

I am so tired of hearing the way people insult each other.  What is so great about gutter language?  It only bring you down to the gutter along with every other unintelligent being.

Here is the unique Shakespearean way to insult someone.  It makes you look intelligent, while you make the other person look bad.

Choose a command from Column 0 followed by "thou" then choose one each from columns 1,2,3

e.g-- "Clean thine ears, thou beslubbering boil-brained canker-blossom"

Column 0          "thou"     Column 1        Column 2              Column 3

Aroint thee                   artless             base-court           apple-john
Away I say                   bawdy              bat-fowling          baggage
Bathe thyself                beslubbering      beef-witted          barnacle
Be not deaf                  bootless            beetle-headed      bladder
Behold thy mirror           churlish             boil-brained          boar-pig
Beware my sting           cockered          clapper-clawed       bugbear
Clean thine ears            clouted            clay-brained          bum-bailey
Drink up eisel                craven            common-kissing      canker-blossom
Eat a crododile              currish             crook-pated          clack-dish
Eat my knickers             dankish           dismal-dreaming     clotpole
Fie upon thee               dissembling       dizzy-eyed            coxcomb
Forsoothe say I             droning           doghearted            codpiece
Get thee gone               errant            dread-bolted          death-token
Get thee hence             fawning           earth-vexing          dewberry
Grow unsightly warts      fobbing           elf-skinned             flap-dragon
Hear me now                froward          fat-kidneyed           flax-wench
Hear this pox alert         frothy            fen-sucked             flirt-gill
I’ll see thee hang’d        gleeking          flap-mouthed          foot-licker
Kiss my codpiece           goatish           fly-bitten              fustilarian
Lead apes in hell           gorbellied        folly-fallen              giglet
Methinks thou stinks      impertinent      fool-born               gudgeon
My finger in thine eye     infectious       full-gorged             haggard
"Phui" I say                   jarring            guts-griping           harpy
Remove thine ass hence   loggerheaded    half-faced          hedge-pig
Resign not thy day gig      lumpish         hasty-witted       horn-beast
Sit thee on a spit            mammering     hedge-born       hugger-mugger
Sorrow on thee              mangled         hell-hated           joithead
Swim with leeches           mewling         idle-headed        lewdster
Thou doest intrude          paunchy         ill-breeding         lout
Thy mother wears armor   pribbling        ill-nurtured          maggot-pie
Trip on thy sword            puking         knotty-pated        malt-worm
Tune thy lute                 puny            milk-livered         mammet
Why, how now putz        qualling          motley-minded     measle
Wipe thy ugly face          rank              onion-eyed         minnow
                                   reeky          plume-plucked      miscreant
                                   roguish         pottle-deep        moldwarp
                                   ruttish         pox-marked         mumble-news
                                   saucy          reeling-ripe         nut-hook
                                   spleeny         rough-hewn        pigeon-egg
                                   spongy          rude-growing      pignut
                                   surly             rump-fed            puttock
                                  tottering        shard-borne         pumpion
                                  unmuzzled       sheep-biting       ratsbane
                                  vain              spur-galled          scut
                                  venomed         swag-bellied       skainsmate
                                  villainous      tardy-gaited          strumpet
                                 warped          tickle-brained         varlot
                                 wayward         toad-spotted        vassal
                                 weedy           unchin-snouted      whey-face
                                 yeasty          weather-bitten        wagtail

Flying in its wake.

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