I am so tired of hearing the way people insult each other. What is so great about gutter language? It only bring you down to the gutter along with every other unintelligent being.
Here is the unique Shakespearean way to insult someone. It makes you look intelligent, while you make the other person look bad.
Choose a command from Column 0 followed by "thou" then choose one each from columns 1,2,3
e.g-- "Clean thine ears, thou beslubbering boil-brained canker-blossom"
Column 0 "thou" Column 1 Column 2 Column 3
Aroint thee artless base-court apple-john
Away I say bawdy bat-fowling baggage
Bathe thyself beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
Be not deaf bootless beetle-headed bladder
Behold thy mirror churlish boil-brained boar-pig
Beware my sting cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
Clean thine ears clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
Drink up eisel craven common-kissing canker-blossom
Eat a crododile currish crook-pated clack-dish
Eat my knickers dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
Fie upon thee dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
Forsoothe say I droning doghearted codpiece
Get thee gone errant dread-bolted death-token
Get thee hence fawning earth-vexing dewberry
Grow unsightly warts fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
Hear me now froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
Hear this pox alert frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
I’ll see thee hang’d gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
Kiss my codpiece goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
Lead apes in hell gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
Methinks thou stinks impertinent fool-born gudgeon
My finger in thine eye infectious full-gorged haggard
"Phui" I say jarring guts-griping harpy
Remove thine ass hence loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
Resign not thy day gig lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
Sit thee on a spit mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
Sorrow on thee mangled hell-hated joithead
Swim with leeches mewling idle-headed lewdster
Thou doest intrude paunchy ill-breeding lout
Thy mother wears armor pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
Trip on thy sword puking knotty-pated malt-worm
Tune thy lute puny milk-livered mammet
Why, how now putz qualling motley-minded measle
Wipe thy ugly face rank onion-eyed minnow
reeky plume-plucked miscreant
roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
spongy rude-growing pignut
surly rump-fed puttock
tottering shard-borne pumpion
unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
vain spur-galled scut
venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
warped tickle-brained varlot
wayward toad-spotted vassal
weedy unchin-snouted whey-face
yeasty weather-bitten wagtail
Flying in its wake.
This is so much fun! I love this!
ReplyDeleteI, too, am so very tired of people downgrading and insulting each other. It's not funny -- it's harmful. Thank you for a fun post!
Hahah- I got a lot of phrases:) What a cute post! Where do you find all of this? I always laugh so hard!
ReplyDelete