Bernice Three Column

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Silly Saturday - Clowning Around in the Old West - March 9, 2013

Clowning around in the Old West



The Old Woman Prospector

She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitch rail. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, “Hey old woman, have you ever danced?”

The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, “No, I never did dance... Never really wanted to.”

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, “Well, you old bag, you’re gonna dance now,” and started shooting at the old woman’s feet.

The old woman prospector - not wanting to get her toe blown off - started hopping around. Everybody was laughing.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman’s hands, as she quietly said, “Son, have you ever kissed a mule?”

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “No ma’am... But... I’ve always wanted to.”

There are a few lessons for us all here:

1 - Never be Arrogant.
2 - Don’t Waste Ammunition.
3 - Whiskey Makes You Think You’re Smarter Than You Are.
4 - Always, Always Make Sure You Know Who Has The Power.
5 - Don’t Mess With Old Women; They Didn’t Get Old By Being Stupid...

I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING, DON’T YOU?



The Christian Horse

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"

The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."

Not paying much attention, the man says, "Sure, OK."

So he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop.

"Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!"

Finally he remembers, "Amen!!"

The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God."
I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING, DON’T YOU?






3 comments:

  1. That was cute. I love the lesson "Whiskey Makes You Think You’re Smarter Than You Are." LOL

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  2. Super cute! I love the whiskey one! Wine does the same to me:) come link it up:) Have a great weekend Danielle!!!

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  3. ~hehe~ HA bwahahahahahahhahahahaha Love the horse joke! MEN! SHESSH! Give them a brain, and they'd be dangerous. hahaha The old lady joke is precious! Way ta go girlfriend! Have a great weekend.

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