Bernice Three Column

Friday, May 24, 2013

Silly Saturday - May 25, 2013


Time for some




 I love a salad with some bacon in it!




The following questions were asked in last year’s GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!)

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Cesarean section’.
A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable!)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.


Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)
 
Q.. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head



A Petty Officer Second Class, First Class and a Chief are off the ship together for lunch. While crossing a park they come upon an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”

“Me first!” says the Petty Officer Second Class. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, a beautiful woman at my side and not a care in the world.” Poof! He’s gone.

“Me next!” says the First Class. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and a beautiful woman.” Poof! He’s gone.

“You’re next,” the Genie says to the Chief.

The Chief says, “I want those two back on the ship right after lunch.”




May you have a delightful and jocular day!





Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

3 comments:

  1. LOL get the funny on, sounds just like teens and to think that they could be "the next leaders"! To funny right now! Thanks for sharing Silly Saturday!! Strawberries In Your Kitchen

    ReplyDelete
  2. Where on earth do you find these... bwahahahahahahahaha good ones and thanks for sharing. I posted my Friday's Post today, and oh by the way... maybe you ought to check your mail! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha- Marie- I ask the same thing where she finds these. They are always so funny!! What are the four seasons! Bawa!!!!! I love all of them!!!

    ReplyDelete

I love to read your comments!

Blog Archive