Bernice Three Column

Friday, August 30, 2013

Silly Saturday - August 31, 2013

Time to start clowning around and get Silly!

Great Words!

ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends
And is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN
A grape with a sunburn.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

And MY Personal Favorite

WRINKLES
Something other people have,
Similar to my character lines.
Say "Cheese"
And talking about skeletons....

Red Skelton on marriage.

I take my wife everywhere—but she keeps finding her way back.

My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said, “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, “Before we order could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly.”

The blonde leaned over and said “Burrrrrrr Gurrrrrr Kingggg.”


A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.  After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"

The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed.  Have you been eating doughnuts?"


I decided not to offer a link up for funny posts.  If you have a post you would like to share, please comment with the link.  I would by happy to stop by because I dearly so much enjoy a good laugh.






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6 comments:

  1. hahahaha How funny!!! Gotta love the Chicken funny, what makes it even better is that it's true!! Thanks for making me giggle this morning :) What a great way to start my Saturday Morning!!

    Visiting from the Blog Hop! I'm a new Twitter and Google+ follower and would love a visit from you as well :) You can find me at My Kind Of Introduction -- http://faerieflysavingsmomma.blogspot.com/

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  2. This made my day-Silly Saturday. Such funny quotes and jokes that had me laughing. Thanks for Silly Saturday because it is fun to read these such funny things.

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  3. I thought I made a comment, but not sure so here is either another or my first. HAPPY SATURDAY! Guess what? Me fall down! BOOM! NOT GOOD! BUTTTTTTTTTTTTT Not only did I scare the livin' crap outta me I scared Dave too, but I felt like a crack in my head (& didn't hit it) and everything else is honky dory! WHEW!!!! Then I sat down here read all your funnies and now I feel much better! bwahahahahahaha... I'm still trying to get it together and I'm sure I'm losing readers, but I just can't find the time nor stay away to get er' done. Please don't stop comin' by! I'm really tryin' to get it together & I will soon - PROMISE! Have a great weekend! hugs

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  4. Well you had me at the moose................ Thanks for stopping by Oh My Heartsie Girl. Wishing you a great weekend!

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  5. This was enjoyable. Nothing like a good Chuck Norris joke :)

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  6. Haha- so cute!!! I like the do not trust atoms- so funny!

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