Has it been hot at your home recently. We still have been having 100+ degrees but it has become a dry heat.
You know it's hot in August when....
...the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
...farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
...the trees are whistling for the dogs.
...you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
...pigs complain about sweating like fat humans.
...you can make sun tea instantly.
...the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
...you discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
...the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
...your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
...you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible.
...the swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra tasty crispy"
...your pool water starts to boil in the sun.
...the hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot.
...a scalding hot shower still cools you down.
...people walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.
...a $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.
...the politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.
...you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
...the corn popped right off the stalk and the cows thought it was snow and froze to death.
...you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
...your brother's braces make blisters on his lips
...you need a spatula to remove your clothing
...you are sitting inside reading these jokes.