Bernice Three Column

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Silly Saturday - Time for Fun and Laughs - October 19, 2013

Time to laugh and giggle and for....

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a volkswagen beetle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?” The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the beetle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix ‘em, put ‘em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... “Try doing it with the engine running”


Store Manager: "I saw you arguing with that customer who just left.  I told you before that the customer is always right. Do you understand me?"

Salesclerk: "Yes, sir. The customer is always right."

Store Manager: "That's better. Now what were you arguing with the customer about?"

Salesclerk: "Well, sir, he said you were an idiot."


Do you need a new car? Here's a little help for you if you can't figure out the answer yourself.

1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.

2. Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.

3. You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14 year old on a moped.

4. 15 minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car for 3 days.

5. When you gas up, the attendant asks, "Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?"

6. Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal the "Club."

7. While sitting at a stop light, people keep running up to you and asking if anyone was hurt.


Gym Advice

An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the trainer in the gym, "I want to impress a beautiful young girl.  Which machine should I use?"

The trainer replied, "Use the ATM machine outside!"

I sure was!

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