Bernice Three Column

Friday, May 30, 2014

Silly Saturday - May 31, 2014


Get Ready for a Little




A Little Biblical Humor

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?...
A. German Shepherds.


Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.


Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.


Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.


Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.


Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.


Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once..


Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan, The banks were always overflowing.


Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.


Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.


Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan .....)


PS. Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . .. . "He-brews"





The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.  Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said ‘No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.’

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked ‘What is it you are waiting for?’

She answered:
“THE TEETH.”



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1 comment:

  1. You're always such a hoot! Where do you find this stuff!?! bwahahahahaha Have a great weekend. :)

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