Bernice Three Column

Friday, June 6, 2014

Silly Saturday - June 7, 2014

Get ready to laugh with today's

A little fun............

I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.

I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people.

I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds.

People move out of the way much faster now.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?

That's common sense leaving your body.

I don't like making plans for the day.

Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

I didn't make it to the gym today.

That makes five years in a row.

 Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track".

"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there" answers Tom. "What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.

"Then" Tom continued "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box".

"What if the phone was busy?" "In that case" Tom argued "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".

"What if that had been vandalised?" "Oh well" said Tom "In that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo".

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked "Why would you do that?" "Because he's never seen a train crash!"

Someone told me that there is a cat in this picture.  So, where is the cat?

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