Bernice Three Column

Friday, July 25, 2014

Silly Saturday - Kitchen Fun! - July 26, 2014

Time for some Saturday

Let's have some fun in the kitchen...

If you don't like my standards of cooking...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this...Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.

Dull women have immaculate houses.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

Housework done properly can kill you.

If you can't have your cake, AND eat it... Then next time make more cakes!

Two bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. 
'I got a cook book once', said the first, 'but I could never do anything with it.'

'Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?' asked the second.
'You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and...'

Top Ten Rejected Cookbook Titles:

10. Newman's Stone: Cooking for Older Gall Bladders
  9. Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches for Dummies
  8. Bob Vila's Sawdust Cuisine
  7. Granny Clampett's "Yer Throwin' Away the Best Parts!" Entrees
  6. Mud, Sticks, and Leaves: Cooking with a Four Year Old
  5. Cooking with Condiments - An Apartment Dweller's Guide to Making
      Something Out of Nothing
  4. 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog
  3. Everything's Yogurt...Eventually!
  2. Lions and Tigers and Beets, Oh My!
...and the Number 1 Rejected Cookbook Title:
  1. Getting Even: Hillary's High-Fat Cookbook

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