Bernice Three Column

Friday, July 3, 2015

Silly Saturday Honoring America's Day of Independence - July 4, 2015


Get Ready
It's time for 4th of July

How come there’s no Knock Knock joke about America?
Because freedom rings.

What’s red, white, black and blue?
Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.

What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
Liberty.

What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry.

What do you call a redneck bursting into flames?
A Fire Cracker!

What was the most popular dance in 1776?
Indepen-dance.

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
It can’t sit down.

Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?
Laughayette

Why did the duck say bang?
Because he was a firequacker.

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry.

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!

What do you call a duck on the fourth of July?
A fire quacker.

What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!

What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved.

Which colonists told the most jokes?
Punsylvanians!

The difference between a duck and George Washington is:
One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill!


How Many States Can You Name?

Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.  Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

One lad raised his hand and said, 'Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.


The 4th July Picnic

A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at Albuquerque's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

'This baked ham is really delicious,' the priest teased the rabbi. 'You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden. You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs Warren's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?'

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, 'At your wedding.'



Have a Happy 4th of July!


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